Why it's good to talk about sex
It's not just your body that changes as you become sexually mature. Your feelings and emotions work in different ways too. As with anything new there's always the potential for things to become confusing. It's a bit like getting used to a new computer game, you can't expect to be an expert and master all the levels right from the very start. It takes time!
- It's OK to take time to make decisions about relationships and sex.
- A kiss is not a contract for sex.
- If you've had sex with someone and you don't want it again with that person, then that's OK.
- If you've gone so far but you don't want to have sex, then you can change your mind at anytime. That's OK too.
- If you decide to have sex, then you have a right to privacy and to enjoy it.
Why talk?
Talking helps us to think about things. By talking about our issues we often see things more clearly, feel more supported and less alone. Talking with someone helps you make decisions, especially important decisions about sex that might affect the rest of your life.
Talk things over with your friends and if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, then talk things over with them. You might be surprised to find out you both share some of the same feelings, expectations, worries and needs.
Here are some typical experiences and feelings:
"I felt like I was really under pressure to have sex." Dion 15
I'm really not sure how I feel about her." Hoang 14
"Thursday, he said he really wanted to go out with me so I got all excited and bought a new top and told everyone. Then Saturday he went down the coast and didn't even phone me." Sarah 17
"I must be the only 18 year old virgin in the whole world" Matt 18
"He just had to look at me and my heart started to beat really fast and I couldn't even speak. He must have thought I was a complete dork" BJ 15
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Who can I talk to?
You could talk to:
It sometimes helps you feel more comfortable to talk to others about your worries or problems if you know what you are going to say will be kept confidential. Sometimes different professionals have different rules about keeping things secret, so make sure you ask if anyone else will be told about your issues. Knowing your rights might help you feel safer when talking to others.
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